No Higher Calling

my first late night "insomnia" blog! hayyyyyy! My father always said that whenever you can't sleep, it's just God tugging you into His presence. Read scripture, pray, bask in his presence.. Well he forgot to say blog! lol.

...............aaaaaanyways.

I've been obsessed with this song as of late:

Down at your feet Oh Lord
is the most high place
in your presence Lord
I seek your face..

For there is no higher calling
No greater honor than to bow
and kneel before your throne
I'm amazed at your Glory
embraced by your mercies
Oh Lord! I live to worship you!

These words are so accurate, every moment before God is humbling. So humbling.
Great men and women aren't made in made in public, they are made during those humbling moments, face down at the feet of Jesus. Those moments that tear your wicked heart to pieces and bestows on you the mind of Christ.

A year ago, I never IMAGINED I'd be where I am today. I can only anticipate in excitement where I will be a year from now. I cannot predict the future but I know one thing is for sure, I will be "stedfast, unmoveavable, always abounding in the work of the Lord." 1 Corinthians 15:58

"And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God." Luke 9:62

STOP WORRYING! JUST TRUST ME!!!!!

Okay, I have been going back and forth on how I felt about this; but as of late, I have been compelled to put this on my blog. Maybe it's for me to look back and recall God's faithfulness, or maybe it's for you, the reader, and God wants you to see this 

at. 

this. 

very. 

moment. 

Whatever the reason, I have been praying to be more sensitive to the Spirit's leading and this is one of the areas I have given to God for sharpening. Blogging when 'Something' says "blog!" The other prayer request is for my spiritual eyes to be opened to the needs and battles of others that I may be used to speak a word of encouragement in a timely fashion and by God's grace, bring that person to the saving knowledge of Christ.

But I digress: 

A couple of days ago, I was at my friends house waiting to do her hair. Before I got started, her goddaughters mother, whom I had never met before, arrived to pick up her child who spent the weekend with my friend. We exchanged cordial  hi's and nice to meet you's as "Before the Throne" by Shekinah Glory was playing through my phone's speakers. I zone out while listening to the song as she is gathering her child's belongings when all of a sudden she says "why do you worry so much?" To illustrate how quickly I snapped back to reality think of a DJ scratch that stops the music and the silence that comes after it.

'She couldn't possibly be talking to me' were my initial thoughts but deep down I knew she was. I look over at her in shock, dismay, annoyance... idk but I was feeling something!-- Oh and my mouth was basically wide open. "You Don't Know Me! You Don't know My Life!" Who does she think she is?

You see I had been praying to God JUST the night before, in the spirit of my worry, asking Him for direction; Not because I trusted Him, but because I was worried that He wouldn't come through this time. I wrote out a plan for a lifestyle change in hopes that God would bless me for it, but WORRIED that He wouldn't. I was trying to WORK for God's favor (Rom 9:15) or love (Rom 8:31-39). Biblically, this is a very wrong notion. 

The next morning my Daily Bible Reading took me to Psalm 42. Intersestingly vs. 5 and 11 were repeated. I skipped over 5 and was convicted at verse 11. "Why art thou cast down, oh my soul?...put your hope in God..." -- I'm like ooooook? i hear you God, I will work on it!

so BACK TO THE STORY .....

As I was getting ready to respond in annoyance she continued "you have a great outlook on life but you worry a lot. Why do you do that? As much as you profess God, you don't trust Him... Oh sorry, I hear from God very clearly. ...Wow, I thought I worried a lot till I met you... Just stop. Trust God!" (Of course these are random excerpts of what she said, from my memory, & in no particular order.)

At that moment, every defense I was going to use in response to her rhetorical questions went out the window. I felt..peace. I quietly nodded and said, "thank you for that." I knew it was God. But I was shook.

A friend then sent me a sermon by Adrian Rogers - How to Win the war with Worry   .. "TO WORRY IS A SIN!"  A must watch! (click the gray link)

Days later, I'm overwhelmed, yet thankful. God LOVES me enough to speak directly to me on my sinful situation or warn me, either way. Thank you, Oh Faithful One. My Savior, my King. Forever.

TRUST GOD! PUT YOUR HOPE IN HIM! It is so important to understand that this is a requirement! 

Speak to me, Lord..?

Sometimes I feel unclear about God's leading. Like I feel like I'm waiting around for Him to speak to me, tell me my next move.....and I get......nothing.

I get discouraged.

I wanna turn back to my old ways.

I wanna throw in the towel.. I get so FRUSTRATED.

Then I remember the promise that I made wholeheartedly when He drew me back to Him--more so an affirmation.

"Lord I have laid my hands on the plow & I am NOT going back no matter what!"

See, I read in His word (Luke 9:62) that whosoever lays their hand on the plow and looks back is not worthy of Him, I can't afford that.

God, I just want to be worthy of Your presence, Your glory, and of YOU! All. of. You.

..............."ONE THING have I desired of the Lord, and THAT will I SEEK after, that I may dwell in the house of the Lord...." (Psalm 27:4) This has quickly become a verse that drives my walk.

One thing, Lord! JUST. ONE.. & I will seek, because one day, I will FIND.

He has proven himself over & over & over again. remember? Just seek.

Grow.

It's Personal

This is a raw, uncut blog that contains my personal thoughts regarding life, my real world struggles as a christian and seeing things through the eyes of my Savior. Some posts are mainly for me and some are for others. Either way, I pray that anyone who stumbles upon this blog.... is blessed.

grace & PEACE.