Now this is way more "transparent" than I like to be about my life but God told me to write so pray my continued obedience in the Lord. And bear with me. (lol).
God revealed to me that I had a lust problem. Well, lets back track...
I often find myself lusting at various times throughout the day but I stop it before it gets too "good". You see, I had no issues with entertaining lust for a moment here and there, I was always careful not to go too far, just enough to satisfy my lustful appetite. I'm not going to follow through so its cool right? I'm not as bad as the people who's lusts lead them to forms of sexual immoralities right? No one knows and I'm not hurting any one right? WRONG.
My Story:
For whatever reason this past weekend, I was having a lust moment upon waking up (when I was supposed to be praying) and for the first time, I immediately shot up like someone who was drowning and rebuked the thought and it left me. It was really weird to me that I did that because needless to say, I was enjoying my little lust moment. I subconsciously didn't consider these moments to be lustful because it would go from thinking about my wedding day (a harmless fantasy that all girls randomly have from time to time nothing serious) to LUST GALORE. The enemy had taken an institution that was designed by God and turned it into something that blinded me to my sin! Scary but this is how the devil works. For this reason multiple scripture warns us of the devil's tactics in the lives of believers. When I shot up, this past weekend it was like my eyes had been opened to something. I didn't do much about it besides shutting it down in that moment but the situation burdened my mind all day. Did I mention that my prayer life had been mediocre at best for weeks so yeah I didn't "feel" like praying about it.
I believe when God wants to work on sin, he reveals it. If he reveals it, he intends to REMOVE it. Not tomorrow, not next year, not eventually but right then and right there. This is not to say that God allows you to sin until HE wants to work on it but as His child he will keep finding ways to get you to respond to His tug regarding your sin. It could be that many of my lustful moments I didn't care to listen but for whatever reason that day, the Spirit forcefully took over to get my attention. So that night during our online group Bible Study, the Lord caused me to glance at some notes I took to a sermon a while back and one of the bullet points said "get a prayer partner." He zeroed in on that and asked me why I hadn't done that yet. The next morning I asked someone to be my prayer partner and shortly after my obedience, the Lord told me that He is ushering me into a season of prayer.
This excited me because the last time I was in a season of prayer, my relationship with Him peaked! I couldn't wait. He began to reveal and deal with so many besetting sins in my life that I had overlooked in my "busy" schedule and day to day life, in which lust was one of them. I watched a message by Adrian Rogers where he talked about the deadly side to the sin of lust.
"But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death." (James 1:14,15)
God revealed that lust was indeed a stronghold in my life and its gonna take more than a little wimpy prayer to remove it. I cried out to the Lord in anguish asking for forgiveness and for it to be uprooted and by His grace, I felt Him encourage me that it was done.
So today I stand before you & before God as a woman that is pure within and without, never returning to that stronghold by His grace, and grace alone. I am beyond thankful for the rebuke and chastisement of the Lord.
I can honestly tell you that the source of my lust came from conversations I would hear my peers having about "fine" celebrity men, things I would see on social media, movies and music that may seem harmless but there is this one tiiiiiiiiiny little sex scene, or one nasty little sentence in the "love" song. That's ALL that the devil needs to get a foothold in your life. First thing you have to do is turn away, turn off and TURN DOWN! Your spiritual LIFE and health depends on it! Delete the text messages, unfriend that person, block that number, do whatever you have to do to run from lust! It truly is a stronghold! I found myself fighting for my life during that prayer session because I felt like a prisoner to those thoughts. I just couldn't break free! I prayed using 2 Corinthians 10:4: "For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;"
God freed me from the death grip of the enemy and He can do the same for you. If you are going through this do not let it continue to get the best of you, find someone to stand with you in prayer, and really seek God for it. Do whatever you have to. It's not easy, I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW but God is willing to help, if you are sincerely willing to be freed. I'm praying for and with you.
Grace & Peace.
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