lovestory? nah.

I made a "things I want in my future husband" list once, well that ship has sailed and I am glad it did. As I began to grow in grace, God began to teach me about love, His love; Through trials, tests, failures, strengths, accomplishments, chastisement, discipline, punishments and every way imaginable.

But I digress.

Back to my list, I realized after reading a book my sister recommended to me (Boy meets girl by Joshua Harris) that my ideals about my future spouse were all wrong! I went waaaaaay back in my journal to read it &.........*Cue the beginning of me letting go of the list.* Mind you this was weeks ago.

But for some reason, love has been on my mind a whole lot lately which is bonkers because I'm the most "un-mushy" person in this world so yeah, I was confused too. Daydreaming about what my wedding will be like, what my husband will look like, our careers, our children, our hobbies... I even sounded out potential last names that I may have to take on. (lmbo). It became difficult to bear. 

Anyways, today while at the hospital praying with my family, my mother said something that struck me. She said:

"When your father and I were getting married, I went to go make the invitations/program & was trying to come up with a quote to put on there. Most people would want to put things like "love is this, love is that" but I asked God what should be the foundation of this marriage/family and he said to me "JESUS IS LORD" so I put it on the card. & ever since then those words have truly been our foundation and will continue to be. "

On the drive home, my ideas of a "love story" began to take on a new definition. I no longer wanted a love story that makes me weak in the knees, but I now wanted a God story, where God is kept FRONT & CENTER. One that keeps me on my knees in prayer drawing me ever close to God. I want my God story to point people to the Cross and lead people to salvation. I want my wedding to not only be a celebration but an outreach where Christ is placed on a pedestal, not my groom or I. I want my marriage to be a ministry in which we both are on fire for God and his service. Where we serve together, always. Where my heart to serve God is challenged to a higher level. I want my God story to cause others to seek God genuinely and serve Him. I want our God story to blow people's minds not because of who we are or our accomplishments but because of who GOD is. I don't want a self centered love story where we glorify each other and talk each other up but one where we both glorify God and constantly thank Him for leading us to one another so that we may better fulfill His will and our purpose on this Earth.

Of course I want some of the mushy stuff too but those things are secondary, mere benefits, and will come naturally to a God story written by the author of Love himself.

However first, my singleness must be a ministry in itself & I get that. God please, please teach me, break me, mold me and conform me more and more to your will so that I may be prepared for what lies ahead.

Amen.